I've been reading all day, interspersed with a lunch spent watching the third episode of this season's Sopranos. Love Tony's pondering of life and the setting--a hospital--in which it happens. Hospitals have always had this "non-space" quality for me. In any case.
I have roughly an hour to:
Read a 30 page text for class tonight
Pick up the dry cleaning
Exercise/Take a shower
Mail the rent check
Update the spreadsheet with my latest receipts etc.
Add to my chapter
Decide whether to cancel tomorrow's class (that I had originally scheduled to be cancelled, but right now isn't, but that I really don't have time to read for if I want to have a passable version of my chapter ready to present at the Big Conference) and send an email to students
My life seems to be an unresolvable series of dilemmas, the biggest of which is not how to get everything done but how to do the best job I can with the time I have in front of me. This realization leaves my everyday world--writing in this blog, kissing my daughter good-bye in the morning, eating that caramel apple empanada when I know I shouldn't--tinged in blue. Is it that tint that makes life so very sweet?
I distinctly remember a time when I thought that anything was possible and my conception of time was limited to wondering what time was necessary to complete a paper, prepare a meal, walk to wherever. I still wonder about the time it takes to do these things, but there is definitely another layer presenting itself to me now.
Working from home and the three hour round trip commute on the days I do go to campus is very lonely and isolating existence. But maybe there is a reason for the current reality of my life. The time to reflect is not a luxury that many people allow themselves. I hope I am able to use it wisely.
I will rush a reading of the chapter. Email my students. Send the rent check and on the way out, pick up the dry cleaning (if I'm lucky). Finances? Later. Shower? Later. Exercise? Later?
Chapter? (Place Expletive Here)
No comments:
Post a Comment