ADD, Part 2

Miss A. is upstairs napping. S.O. is playing Halo 2. At approximately 3pm, I have put the finishing touches on my "To Do" list for today:

• Plant Watermelon plants in pot
• Wash A.'s Hair (yes, Hair does deserve to capitalized)
  
• Finish AERA reviews due yesterday
• Work on Book Essay

Of course, there are other things lurking. Stuff in the trunk of the car that needs to go to Salvation Army; clothes that need to be put in a garment bag and stored till it actually gets hot enough down here to wear corduroy, wool and velvet; maybe a trip to the park later; perhaps a trip to Walmart to scope out bike prices for A.; prepare for meeting A, B, and C; get outside and move my body around...

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I believe the ADD medication is working. I've been prioritizing my ass off, and for a change, I actually feel like I'm getting things done. Before Concerta: at the prospect of all that I had to get done, I would get literally paralyzed and sit staring at a computer screen like a zombie. After Concerta: I sit staring at the computer screen...for a few minutes instead of an hour. I really don't care if the medication is primarily psychological. It's been worth it to be thinking more about the strategies that maintain my sanity: parsing out activities and time, planning in short transition periods between activities; forcing myself to take shorter amounts of time on things that really don't need to take hours, etc. Life is crazy, isn't it?. Ten years ago, I would have been quick to tell you that ADD is a load of horseshit. Now, I'm this close to getting a Tshirt that says "This is what ADD looks like."

Okay, not really.

On another note. I'm becoming acutely aware that raising a daughter with expansive ideas about spirtuality is not going to just "happen." With my current approach, I think she'll just end up rrreally confused. I mean, exactly how am I supposed to reconcile wanting to raise her with Buddhist beliefs while looking forward to videotaping her roles in Nativity plays and Easter speeches? Now that I think about it, that's the problem with Buddhists. They don't make kids dress up in cute costumes or sing songs about the reality of suffering. What's currently bothering me most is that her preschool teachers are starting to lay the God talk on pretty thick and I'm at a loss for what to say in response to all of it.

The biggest challenge is that I don't want to isolate her from the culture of her community. Most people in the South are Baptists. They go to church on Sunday for HOURS. They play basketball for Jesus, sing in choirs, have the Bible in the magazine stand next to the toilet. I can't, in good conscience, just take A. out for nature walks on Sunday and talk about oneness and hear-and-now, all the while knowing that her cousins and friends will someday consider her a freak and some sort of missionary project. Or can I?

It's okay with me that she go to church. After all, that's what I did, all the way from Vacation Bible School through my Lutheran Catechism and confirmation. I just want A. to know that spirituality is so much bigger than what people in this small Southern town do. I guess I should keep it simple, for now--for 4 year olds, that means about one sentence. How do these sound:

• "Sweetie, you should know that there are lots of different ways to know about God."
• Hey A., did you know that people in different places have ideas about God that are different than you?
• Honey, just so you know, your mommy thinks that Christianity, although it definitely has its strengths, is probably a tool of a patriarchal capitalist hegemonic majority. Don't tell your teachers I said that, okay?