You're in a new place and this place is now your home. Do you take a deep breath and keep on steppin'...or do you retreat into your shell like a hermit crab, peeking your eye stalks out every now and then to scope out your surroundings?
For the past nine months, I've told myself "this is a transition phase. Soon I will know what it's like for this Midwestern biracial mama to be living in the Hot-as-H-E double toothpick Bible belt." But of course, all of this is a lie, and not your garden variety white lie (Mkay, why do the little cute lies get to be WHITE?...oh, sorry--channeling my inner Black Panther there for a moment).
Let's get back to that lie, shall we? I found clues to my self-deception in little things. The way my daughter's twang and slang (Momma, whater you fixin' to do?) makes me grit my teeth. My urge to overindulge a bohemian streak (I've never owned so many tunics in my life). A struggle to keep pork from invading my home.
So am I becoming a Southerner? Don't know. I mean, without completely essentializing myself and/or everyone in this Small Southern City, what makes a Southerner? Who knows. But I live in the South. My husband is from the South and my daughter will grow up knowing the South as her home. In the face of these facts, do I attempt to make a fortress, an enclave of Buddhism, massive soy product consumption and recycling? Are there such things as Southern-fried hippy chicks?
I sure hope so. Otherwise I'm liable to go bonkers and become that trite image of the wizened old lady sipping mint juleps that are mostly 100 proof rum...
1 comment:
Good Luck. I am biracial and consider myself to be somewhat intelligent and I must say, both attributes have made me feel like an outsider here in Mississippi. And you are Muslim and a feminist too. I'll be praying for you, lol. Florida is somewhat more forward thinking. Besides the worst that can happen is your children will have plenty of material for a good book in 20 years. Best Wishes.
Post a Comment