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“Looking for a new place to call home? Finding a home has never been easier. To find a home you want fast, just go to www…” sounds like a parody of my life. I’m on hold, waiting for a customer service rep to take my ad for the fridge and living room furniture. Starting in a new place has always been difficult when the move is connected more to other people’s desires than to mine. But I guess that makes sense, doesn’t it? It’s easy to feel helpless when you don’t feel in complete control of the situation. I do desire to put down roots, at least I think I do. But now that the move is a week away, I’m not so sure. Honestly, it’s been a really long time since I’ve felt this unsure, insecure and small. Instead of me packing things into boxes, I feel like each time I come home somebody’s been steadily stealing things from my space and I’ve just now noticed that there are no pictures on the walls, nothing in the cupboards and closets, no toiletpaper on the roll in the bathroom. Should I go pick up A now, or wait? I’ll wait. Maybe try to clean up a little so that her three-year old façade of normalcy can be halfway maintained. And daddy’s coming home tomorrow! For three days she’s been telling me things about him. That he likes milk. That he likes to watch Dora, just like she does. That he likes to sing. I wonder if they’re both hoping equally hard for the love they’ve been missing.